That’s what I heard, following our conversation about living in a tiny house. It was followed up with something like “There’s not enough space for the both of us. I’d have no place to get away.”
Honestly, my first thought was “That makes me so sad. You’re practically a newly-wed, and we’ve been married fifty years, and it’s plenty of space for us.” But I didn’t say that.
The longer I thought about it, the sadder I got because it seemed to boil down to one thing, communication. Why else would someone need to get away from their mate unless there were some kind of communication issues?
Again, my first thought is that you should figure out how to communicate before you ever get married, or if you are roommates, before you move in together, or at least very soon after that. That may take some work, and you may have to relearn it every now and then, but you have to learn how to communicate.
Then it hit me, to make tiny house living a good adventure, you need to go back to what you learned in Sunday School.
- Love one another – that means care about what is good for the other person, really care, and do something about it. Even if it means you shut up for a while.
- Be kind and compassionate to one another. I fear old-fashioned kindness has gone out of style in this culture that emphasizes “doing what is good for you first.” Kindness requires us to those around us in loving ways, like how are they feeling and what can I do to make their life better.
- Forgive one another. Forgiving most simply means letting go of the grudges. Letting go of your right to “balance the books.”
This last week I had opportunity to exercise some of these behaviors. I misunderstood something that was happening, and my initial thought was to lay it all out there. And if you are like me at all, one misunderstanding can dig up all the rest that you never really resolved before. But fortunately, after all these years, I have learned to keep my mouth shut until I can speak lovingly or at least reasonably most times. That comes out of being quiet long enough to process it all considering both sides…both perspectives.
And you can do that in a tiny house. Even if it means you walk around outside the tiny house for a few laps until you can speak lovingly.
Monday is move in day…now that will test our communication skills, won’t it? But if I start the day with the assurance that my sweet husband loves me and wants me to be happy and is willing to go along with my hair-brained schemes and adventures, we will do just fine. And he just assured me that he will…go along with my hair-brained schemes and adventures.
References from my Sunday School verses.
- John 13:34
- Eph. 4:32
- Eph. 4:32
2 thoughts on “Never in a Tiny House, I Couldn’t!”
Needing to get away from a spouse may not be a communication or a love issue. We all have different personalities and some people just need more alone time than others. They recharge that way and it is healthy for them to have that time. I never imagined a relationship as good as my husband and I have but we both have introvert traits that require alone time. We both get it and respect that space. It is more about needing to be alone not necessarily having to get away from a particular person because you are frustrated or upset with them. For some of us having space and alone time is better than a nice cup of coffee in the morning.
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My hubby & i could do a tiny house as long as there were 4 rooms, a room for each of us, a bathroom & kitchen area. We already live in our “big house” like this. We are both Introverts so this is essential.